Archive for February 6th, 2004


One of Taiwan’s Dumbest Moments..

Posted by Aric on February 6th, 2004

Ok, so I was taking an unauthorized break.. reading Yahoo Asia news when I came upon this article talking about how China caught 3 spies they say were sent from Taiwan.. after reading the headline, I was like “ok, whatever.. China always talkin’ shit..”.. but then the article gets more interesting.. it says that the 3 spies caught were from the Taiwan Military Intelligence.. and one dude was a colonel, his son, and a homie.. it said he was in China, working undercover as a Taiwan business man.. so I was thinking, “ok, that sucks he got caught.. but yeah, nice try and nice disguise.. since there are tons of Taiwan businessmen in China”.. so I read a little more.. and the article talks about how China got suspicious of these guys.. basically, they were tipped off by the loud mouthed President of Taiwan.. Chen Shui-bian.. in his daily sermons on how Taiwan would enact a referendum to denouce China’s missles being aimed at Taiwan.. he mentioned how China has XXX missles pointed at Taiwan.. apparently, the number was dead on.. making the dudes in China think, “either that guy is one lucky bastard, or we got ourselves a spy ring..”.. so the China military started to investigate and busted them.. to make matters worse, Taiwan’s defense minister, in response to reports of China catching Taiwanese spies, he says something to the effect of.. “I don’t want to say anything because it might jeopardize the lives of [our spies in China] working on such missions”.. dude, what an idiot! Thats like the cops pulling over a drunk on the freeway and asking, “boy, have you been drinkin’?” and an idiot replying, “me? well, I don’t want to say because you might ruin this awesome buzz I’m having when I combined shots of Bacardi 151 with a lil’ dab of cocaine and topped it off by enjoying a rock of crack cocaine in my favorite pipe amongst my best of friends”.. IDIOTS!

On another note, I think the security guard at work is secretly a metorologist.. his weather forcasts in Taiwan are almost always correct.. in fact, he’s more accurate than Accuweather.com.. if I had the time and energy, I’d start a new website called TheRealAccuweather.com and make him my partner..

Want to hear something sad? Ok.. its sad when you get excited about new urinal cakes in the bathroom.. yeah.. crazy huh? the janitor lady installed new urinal cakes in the urinal a couple of days ago.. normally I wouldnt care.. but sometimes those automatic flushers dont work and the stench of urine is overpowering.. speaking of the janitor lady.. I dunno, but in the US, the men’s restroom has a male janitor.. I mean, during work hours.. after hours, I could care less who’s cleaning the bathroom since I’m not at work.. but during work hours, if you’re standing at the urinal, its pretty much expected that if a janitor walks in, it would be a man.. well, at this company.. we have a janitor lady.. and I dunno.. she’s in the men’s restroom a lot.. cleaning, since I suspect men or dirtier than women.. at first, it freaked me out.. I thought maybe I shouldn’t be in there.. I should’ve known she was cleaning at this time.. but apparently, none of the other guys seem to mind.. I still think its strange though..

UPDATE: I was just reading my earlier post.. about how Taiwan got its first case of SARS and people measure your temperature everywhere you go.. well, now that the security guard at work is my best friend.. I asked him, “hey, so what happens if I have a fever when I get to work in the morning?” and he replied, “well, we would have to send you home.. you wouldn’t be allowed in the office.. you’d have to go home to rest..” [click.. click.. click..] < -- the sound of gears turning in my head.. anyone know how to fake a fever? I cant have it to high though, they might call an ambulance or something.. or worse, try to get a more accurate temperature reading by jamming a thermometer in my ass..