I was standing outside, enjoying the sun (since it was raining for about 6 days straight..) when this guy walks up to wait for a car or something.. immediately, my eyes fixate on his mole.. not only is it on his forehead (slightly off center), it had hairs growing out of it.. although I wasn’t talking to him.. it was really hard not to stare.. I kept thinking, “why the hell would he continue to let that hair grow out of it?” and I also kept thinking, “moley! moley! moley!”.. like Austin Powers.. I know in Chinese culture, its supposed to be good luck.. but I dunno.. with a hairy mole the size of Texas on his forehead.. I don’t think he’ll be using any of that luck on the ladies..
We had a meeting this morning.. it was quite interesting.. the project “management” team called in all the users and basically said that we’re entering the final phase of implementation and we need to start some user acceptance testing.. so he starts by asking, “ok, do you guys want to do some easy tests or some hard ones?”.. interesting technique, I must say.. well, as you may have guessed, everyone said that the easy tests would be the best.. one user said that he would like to start easy, then, possibly tomorrow.. he would like to move onto harder, more difficult tests (good answer!).. but our project “manager” said, “well, I just wanted to test today.. not tomorrow.. we can resume testing next Tuesday”.. to which everyone was a little confused (including myself).. members of the project team began to revolt.. the PM started to raise his voice.. and the whole time the users were thinking, “who are these dumbasses and why are they leading the project?”.. so anyway, while this was all happening, I was perfecting my sketches of Elmo.. I had a red pen with me today, so it just seemed like a good day to do it.. also, I came up with this cool idea.. you know how there’s that one website that sells dog shit? Like, you can order a pile of dog shit for someone which is sent to them anonymously (although, its not really anonymous.. I heard a story..).. anyway, I was thinking of coming out with a line of self-help books.. it would be the ‘Asshole’ and ‘Dumbass’ series.. for example: Project Management for Assholes.. or Project Management for Dumbasses.. the book would be filled with degrading sarcastic humor (which the internet is full of, so we wouldnt be short on writers).. or..or, check this out, you could, as the buyer, request that certain situations be sarcastically illustrated in the book.. for that personalized touch.. and you could order it and send it to someone anonymously.. or not.. I wouldnt mind making that the only series in my Book of the Month club.. I’d send it to the same dude every month.. “Project Management for Dumbasses”.. “People Skills: Why Assholes Like You Need Them”.. “People Skills: Why Asshole Like You Need Them, Volume II”.. “You’re an Asshole: We’ll Tell You Why”.. “101 Jokes About You, The Dumbass”.. “Assholes for Dumbasses”.. “Dumbasses for Assholes”.. well, you get the picture..
