Ok.. so I tried to order a wallet for my wife for our anniversary.. little did I know my online shopping experience would turn into a close encounter with the Bitch from Hell.. I like to think I’m a pretty patient individual.. I’m typically not ill-tempered and I try to be very cordial and polite during phone conversations. But, you know.. I take enough shit at work during the day that when I get off my lazy ass to call a retailer/vendor as an unhappy customer, I expect to be heard.. so I was a little shocked when the BFH tried to tell me that I was wrong and that I did in fact receive her email correspondence.. for the record, I sent two emails to Coach.com, both of them expressing discontent with NOT being contacted by anyone within the “24 hours” promised on their website. So I find it odd that the BFH would think we were exchanging email correspondence. In any case, our phone call went a little something like this..
after verifying my billing and shipping address..
BFH: “I see, we’ve tried to contact you twice and this is your first time calling in, correct?”
Me: “Well, yes.. but I’ve never been contacted by Coach”
BFH: “Yes you have, we’ve had email correspondence..”
Me: “Yes, I’ve written twice from the website, but I’ve never received any reply”
BFH: “But you have received replies, we asked you to call in.. in fact, I wrote the second email..”
Me: “I’m sorry, but I’ve never received any reply otherwise I would’ve called sooner”
BFH: “Well, anyway.. you received two emails from us.. your order was pending verification..”
Me: “You might want to make sure your emails aren’t getting bounced by Hotmail as spam.. because I didn’t receive anything”
BFH: “Maybe you have restrictions set on YOUR account, because you were emailed..”
Me: “Well, you know what? I’m calling today to cancel my order..”
BFH: “Fine! Was there anything else?”
Ok, now.. after she hung up on me, it still didn’t really occur to me that she was being a bitch.. but seriously, I didn’t receive any email correspondence.. when I wrote a second time, asking for an update and saying I was upset that I did not receive a response within 24 hours after my first email, you would think the BFH would’ve gotten a clue that I’m not receiving her emails.. furthermore, their own damn question/comments form on their website asked for my daytime phone number.. whats that for? so they can call me at ungodly hours on weekends to ask me how I’m enjoying my wallet? I would think any responsible customer service department would’ve called me to make sure the order was legitimate, especially after 10 days. What pisses me off even more is I placed the order on April 2nd at about 9AM ET, I paid an arm for shipping and then paid an additional leg for priority overnight (since, for some unknown reason, “Priority Overnight” is defined as “2-3 days”).. so what the hell? I wanted Priority Overnight, I sent in two emails saying I did not receive any updates or replies, and they had my phone number, which made it so easy for the BFH to just pick up the damn phone and call me, at least leave a damn message..
To recap.. Coach.com sucks because:
1. They hire crazy bitches from hell to handle customer service phone calls
2. Their email system is superior and never fails
3. The bitches they hire think they know email systems like they know crazy
4. Coach.com must follow Martian days since Overnight to them means “2-3 earth days”
For the record (and to prove I’m right and the crazy bitch is just plain crazy), my Hotmail does have restrictions on it.. here they are:
Spam detected by Bigfoot in the subject will be automatically deleted.
mortgage in the subject will be automatically deleted.
free in the subject to my Junk E-Mail folder.
rates in the subject will be automatically deleted.
refinance in the subject will be automatically deleted.
sex in the subject will be automatically deleted.
guaranteed in the subject will be automatically deleted.
debt in the subject will be automatically deleted.
penis in the subject will be automatically deleted.
So unless the bitch was trying to get me to refi, buy v!@g@r@, enlarge my penis, help me get out of debt, or offer me the wallet for free in exchange for sex with Bigfoot, I did not receive her damn email..
Coach.com sucks and so do BFH..