I used to laugh hysterically when my friend used the phrase, “that shit smells so bad it could knock a buzzard off a shit wagon”.. I now truly know what kind of odor could and would knock a buzzard off a shit wagon.. one of the local guys.. he’s a nice guy n’ all.. but I’ll be damned if his BO wouldn’t be damn near illegal back home in the United States.. call it Assault with a Deadly Odor.. I dunno.. but in the past, I thought it was pretty horrific that I could smell his BO two cubicles away.. today I realized he was only “warming up”.. I walked into the cube farm area coming in from the lobby.. as soon as I passed though the doorway, I could smell it.. and mind you, I’m probably a good 8-10 cubicles away.. at first, it smelled like burning wet wood.. you know, like when you bring in some moist logs to throw into the fire.. it has that weird burning wood smell, but just really concentrated.. the odor also made me remember the days when I used to build my own speaker boxes for my car.. when you’re cutting into particle board with a dull blade on a sabre saw.. yeah, the cancerous odor thats emitted from the burning glue. As I got closer to his desk, it was evident the BO was coming from this guy. I quickly walked past his desk and into the refuge of our office that we share with the consultants.. but wait, my story doesnt end there.. he came into our office to talk to someone.. the room immediately began to smell of rotten BO.. not just BO, but rotten BO.. most of us “foreigners” immediately took notice.. I had to get up out of my seat and leave the room because it was, honestly, about to knock me out.. I came back to the office 10 minutes later after he had left the room, only to be greeted by his stench once again.. although it wasn’t as bad as when he was present, the smell lingered in the air, almost if the gaseous odor had transformed itself into a solid.. like dust particles floating in the air.. the smell just wouldn’t go away.. for a while, I thought the smell had lodged itself in my nose hairs.. I just couldn’t get away from it.. whats sad is, I’m able to leave early today and I was going to ask this guy for a ride.. but seeing as how he’s the personification of body odor today, I just can’t bring myself to ride in his car.. so I’ll gladly stay later to hitch a ride with the shuttle just so I don’t have to deal with his stench..
Words can’t even describe how bad this dude smells..